An 'affliction'

Here's how I decided to frame all my academic problems:

Eddie's Syndrome:

ES tends to occur in individuals who have read extensively in both breadth
and depth, and as such, is a multidisciplinary scholar despite not scoring
high scores. Individuals who have this syndrome tend to be slightly angsty
about what major to do, since no single major can accommodate their
interests. It is also manifested in the numerous emails they send to their
academic advisors about their academic dilemmas, especially with regards to
the profusion of academic ideas that they wish to pursue.

When approaching students possessing this genotype, it is advisable NOT to
ask for their majors, lest incurring the wrath of the individual being asked
the question. Such students typically do not believe in the concept of a
'major' and as such, might be more at home in a true-blue liberal arts
college, which might be beyond the individual's economic means to pursue. As
such, it would be more advisable to inquire about the person's interests -
since all of the interests are highly likely to be academic.

Individuals with ES would like to eventually embark on research projects
that make full use of their multidisciplinary capabilities - more than that,
they would also like to change the way the world thinks, not just about
changing how the world works.

Apparently, Eddie's Syndrome is best treated at USP where afflicted
individuals can receive the academic support to pursue all the many things
that they want to do.

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